Sylvia K Bartlett

Lisa’s grandmother died early this morning at Angel’s Grace Hospice in Oconomowoc.

I’ll miss the holiday visits. Hondo, our dog, was always welcome and would sleep at our feet under the table when we ate.

I always liked how she gave rude people a hard time. A meter reader guy had gone to her house and then had left. He came back and let himself and a coworker into her basement without knocking. Grandma stood at the top of the basement stairs, waved her cane at them and gave them a lesson in good manners. HARHARHAR. Grandma was always polite. She lived alone for a long time and was always moved when her family would help her out. She was always thankful for their generosity.

She loved her grandkids (Lisa, Jeff, Eric, Matt and Mike) and would get choked up or laugh talking about them. She had a great storehouse of tales about them; the times they spent at the farm, funny things they did as little kids. A few nights ago I sat next to her and held her hand. I couldn’t speak for a bit and she said, ‘I love you too dear.’ I talked to her about Lis for a while after that. One of the last things she said to me was, ‘I love her so much.‘

I admired her straightforwardness and know that’s where Lisa gets her no-nonsense attitude from. Grandma gave me a hard time once about my doctor, who Lisa was not fond of (when visiting this doctor for a recurring and sometimes severe stomach pain, over a two year period, the doctor stated: ‘Well, 3XHAR, some people just have pain.’ And ‘Well, it’s not cancer. If it was you’d be dead by now.’). I gave Grandma a quizzical look, apparently she and Lis had been talking. She said, ‘Oh yeah, I know about that guy. And don’t think I won’t say anything either. That guys a quack. You think I wasn’t going to say anything? You’re my grandson too. You need to (listen to Lisa and) see someone who knows what they’re doing.’ They were right and their ganging up on me made me get healed.

The hospice allowed dogs to visit. Hondo licked grandma’s hand and staked out the room as his territory. New nurses and other visitors were greeted by his proximity alarm-howl. Second time visitors got his ‘wuff’. When things quieted down he would make the rounds from person to person in the room, sit at their feet and wait for an ear-scratching.

The hospice let us visit at any time, to sit quietly with her and hold her hand. The hospice was the best case scenario in a bad situation with only one possible outcome. She was independent and did not want to go to a nursing home. Grandma was ready to die, she had been diagnosed with lymphoma and had decided to forego chemotherapy. I admire the courage of her decision and hope (with great doubt) that I have a share of the grace she had at her end.