3XHAR Laughs

The Macchu

2008-07-20T19:53:00.000-07:00

Enjoying the photo feature... this is me at Macchu Pichu last year.

Good Times On Cliffs

2008-07-20T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is us on the California coast.

Better

2008-07-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

She's out of ICU and will be going home with her parents for a bit. I need some sleep.

Buckling

2008-07-19T11:33:00.001-07:00

For the last couple days I've been at Central DuPage Hospital in Illinois. Jackie is in the ICU there. Her family and friends have swarmed to her side. She's scared and exhausted, but doing well. She became dehydrated, which led to her developing some blood clots in her brain. Her weeklong headache transitioned to confusion and problems speaking. Her sisters got her to the hospital without much time to spare. Her family are gracious, caring and sweet.

I'm writing this from my kitchen table at The Compound, drinking a coffee and getting my head together. I've made arrangements for the hound for the next few days.

I'm usually pretty good at buckling my emotions down, which Jackie says is sometimes a downside, something I need to work on. I don't want to get her upset. She needs to rest.

I wasn't this scared jumping out of a plane. I wasn't this scared looking down cliffsides in Peru. I wasn't this scared being driven to a desolate part of Delhi in the middle of the night.

I'm going to sit here for a while and get my head together. Then I'm going back to the hospital.

Good Neighbors, Good Fences, Etc

2008-07-06T04:54:00.000-07:00

So, I have new neighbors. They live in the house that is back, to the left. They've been there about six weeks. Three little kids and an older lady. And sometimes a guy. And sometimes some other woman. And a lot of yelling and screaming.

Now, I don't find the sound of little kids carrying on, being little kids, disagreeable. I do find the sound of children screaming in mortal terror to be a call to action.

Yesterday I got home and laid down on my bed to relax for a moment. Jackie came in and laid down. We listened to the neighbor lady screaming in anger and children screaming in reply. Jackie said this had been going on, on and off for parts of the afternoon. Most of their words were unintelligible, but the tone was not mistakeable. I dithered for several minutes. The yelling continued. I got up, exited my backdoor, walked across the neighbor's lawn, and banged on their door. A dishevelled and remarkably subdued and meek woman answered the door.

K-I've been hearing screaming for the last half hour coming from your house. Is everyone OK, because it doesn't sound like it.
L-Well, my son disobeys and he... he yells sometimes.
K-I'm hearing you screaming. You need to stop screaming. I don't want to hear it. Whatever you're doing, you need to stop screaming. OK? I don't want to have this conversation again, OK?

I formally accepted her grunt as acknowledgement of our verbal contract: She will cease screaming, I will cease visiting. We'll see.

Trains, Boats, Planes, Trolley Cars, Automobiles

2008-06-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago Jackie and I took the train from Chi to Seattle, then rented a convertible and drove down the coast to San Francisco. Many adventures were had. Many unlikely things happened. We travelled by many modes of transport and ate many unlucky sea creatures.

The vacation was... what's a big word with the connotation of wonderfulness? Phenomenal? Extrampulicious? Flambacious? All of the above. We travel well together. Really well. Scary well. We experienced no major snags and ran into or made our own luck on a half dozen occassions. Like when we went to Alcatraz...

We did the night tour on Friday the 13th. Extra creepy. They opened the medical area between 8pm and 8:30pm. Very mucho extra double creepy. Big old metal dinosaur/bug like medical equipment in paint peeling, barred and drafty rooms where you KNOW guys died.

A park guide befriended us and took us (and only us) into A block (the oldest part of the prison), then led us to the unused sub-basement. There was no lighting there so we used the ranger's little flashlight and my supah-maglite. Lots of old brickwork and dreary concrete. Then we got to the old isolation cells that were used in the 1800's, where we shut the flashlights off for a bit. Triple extra mucho supah flambaciously creepy. You could see THE DARKNESS and hear howling wind and echo-stretched voices from the cells above. If there's a place I'd believe in spirits, ghosts, or other psychic phenomena it would be in the Alcatraz operating room or the Alcatraz sub-basement isolation cells.

But I don't. Sigh.

Almost a year...

2008-03-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

Last year, after I got back from Peru, a few things happened.

1) Went to Vegas in August to surprise The Duck on his birthday. Much hilarity ensued. Saw hookers, but did not touch. They don't look like the hookers in the movies. This made 3XHAR a saaaaad panda.

2) Started dating a woman named Jackie. Still dating her. And it is good.

3) Went to India for three weeks. Many adventures were had: monkeys fighting dogs, ancient temples, Vibz and Ranak got married, I got robbed, inhaled pollution, met great people, saw Mt Everest in the Snow Haus, visited the Taj Mahal and travelled by plane, van, car, autorickshaw, boat, foot, and elephant. And I remain friends with Ted, the finest of travelling companions.

4) Have started running. So far, it's not too fun in a conventional way. It's fun like hiking all day with no air to breathe in Peru was fun. My idea of fun may not be your idea of fun.

5) Played and am playing much volleyball. Am in two leagues now and will be playing three to four times each week this summer.

6) Did the Polar Plunge in Madison's Lake Monona in February. It was mind-numbingly cold. The kind of stimulus that turns parts of your brain off. I found it interesting.

Current Pain: Shoulder. Very bad. Had to push my car uphill when it became disabled by a vast molten pit in the road (a pot hole). May see a doctor tomorrow, now that I have a car that is fixed.

3XHAR

Manu and the Amazon

2007-06-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

Manu and The Amazon

To Manu Preserve.
Half of Rain Forest is rain.
The van slides and bucks.

Passing on cliff sides.
Amazonian road rage.
One wrong turn, we fall.

Sleeping in the van.
Bumped awake by road debris.
Adrenaline surge.

Driving in rain, mud.
The driver has nerves of steel.
The road ends: landslide.

We sit in the van.
The road has ceased to exist.
Surrounded by green.

Brown water swirls, foams.
Boat stops, guide points to tree tops.
Monkeys on branches.

Wisconsin poncho.
Flatboat, drenching rain, straight down.
Only I am dry.

Fraulein whips off her shirt.
Why don’t mosquitoes bite her?
We’re in the jungle.

Amazon night walk.
Still, hand-sized tarantulas.
Get close: photograph.

Big red moth near bulb.
Slapstick chase ends with capture.
Now free, it wants in.

Amazon night walk.
Mosquitoes veer from DEET.
I am repellant.

Frauleins are stoic.
Sauna jungle march at night.
British boys complain.

We climb the banyan.
Twelve stories above the ground.
Of course, then we spit.

Careful: inch long ants.
Jungle bugs crawl out at night.
Morning: shake your boots.

Ruins and The Inca Trail

2007-06-24T20:38:00.001-07:00

Ruins and The Inca Trail

SPF-Fifty.
No compromise: white or burned.
Where’s my melanin?

Ollantaytambo.
Conquistadors, Inca fought.
Now tourists stroll there.

Saw Sacsayhuaman.
It’s pronounced ‘Sexy Woman’.
Zig zag walls, nice curves.

Run up ruin stair.
Tour group follows me: bad call.
I went the wrong way

Rain slicked Inca stair.
I don’t, but almost tumble.
Slight knee injury.

Inca trail gear up.
Walking stick and coca leaves.
Rain poncho, caffeine.

Sunscreen missed a spot.
Apocalyptic sunshine.
Hand, now a burned claw.

The guide says, ‘Don’t move.’
Kills the spider on my arm.
We finish dinner.

Hummingbirds buzz past.
I halt to photograph them.
Really, I need rest.

I’ve been converted.
My new god’s Pachamama.
To hell with YOU, Crom!

There is no air here.
Mountain trail climb, I’m panting.
Llamas stare, eat grass.

Rainy night at camp.
I meet a girl: talk, dance, laugh.
Share beer, up too late.

My turnstile friendships.
Tourists in Peru, meeting.
Then flying away.

Inca-set stone trails.
Standing on cliffs is common.
Fear defied by awe.

Climb to air-thin heights.
Crest the top, gasping, sweating.
Yes, the view’s worth it.

Andes on horseback.
We dismount, then crawl through caves.
A shaman guides us.

We walk the horses.
Deep slope to Tambomachay.
Perfect Inca stones.

Peru: The Flight In, Lima, Cuzco

2007-06-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

What the hell have I done since March 11, 2007?

Visited Peru from March 24th through April 12th. Watched Rik’s two American Eskimo dogs for about a month. Worked. Played volleyball three to five times per week. Dated. Ran the Hound at the park on the weeks I have him. Hired a maid. Spent some time with my family. Played Civ IV. Began planning for a trip to Inida in the fall. Sorted through many Peru photos. Did physical therapy for the knee I sprained in Peru… So, it all starts with Peru…

The Flight In

Bored in Miami.
Close, loud-arguing Haitians.
Turn up the iPod.

Someone broke the plane.
Delay followed by delay.
Peru, close but not.

IPod: Sinatra.
They say a plane is coming.
Pace, drink, sit: repeat.

The plane bucks and drops.
Darkness and light etched coastlines.
My butt falls asleep.

Lima

Flew in and can’t sleep.
It hits me: I’m in Peru!
Dumb adrenaline.

Morning in Lima.
Post flight attempt to shower…
No water pressure.

Welcome to Gang Wars.
Ted was robbed. We’re both OK.
Day one is over.

Each house a fortress.
Graffiti, garbage and dirt.
Glad to leave Lima.

Cuzco

Cuzco morning stroll.
Fog, people drift across streets.
Clouds loll on mountains.

Need morning coffee.
I am up before Cuzco.
And now, it seems, lost…

Main Square in Cuzco.
Gold gilded church, beggars lurk.
Uniformed school girls.

Before eight A.M.
I sit on a bench and write.
And I’m sun-burning.

Thick black ponytails.
Inca, Spanish, Mestizo.
Great hair in Peru.

Women with llamas.
Five soles for their photo.
We pay, then they run!

Street kid unagi.
She’s selling finger puppets.
She frowns and I pay.

What’s on the menu?
Alpaca, guinea pig lunch.
They’re cute AND tasty!

Disco in Cuzco.
Beat moves women’s hips, shoulders.
Hair flipping follows.

What Does Not Kill Us Only Makes Us Stranger

2007-03-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

So, it goes something like this: I frequent a certain bar to play pool and drink the tasty, tasty beer there. For the last two weeks or so, when I went to said bar, a certain very fetching barmaid (VFB) would give me free beers, free pool… We would chat, there were certain commonalities and certain differences, none of which I would call bad. My friends extolled me to ask her out. Fine.

This evening, I hiked to the bar (practice for Peru, took about an hour), chatted with VFB and again, some of the beers were free. I overheard a guy a few chairs down from me ask her out. VFB told him she was seeing someone. Hearing this, knowing my fate was sealed, knowing she would say the same to me, later, I said something like, ‘I don’t want to be a jerk, but are you seeing anyone?’

And she said she was seeing somebody. I had to hear it.

Strangely, I don’t feel the least bad about the whole thing. I asked her, she told me, no problem. Move on. Hmmm…

Odd though, about the beers…

Wisdom is not the destination, it is the path.

2007-01-17T20:25:00.000-08:00

New things I've learned this year:

1) It is unwise to mention my love of zombie movies on the first date.
2) Never fart while listening to your iPod. You have no idea how loud it will be.
3) Unless you're in a completely aweful mood, hang out with friends if you have the option. And sometimes, even if you're in a completely aweful mood, hang out with friends if you have the option. Isolation, whether self-imposed or not, can be terrifically unhealthy.
4) If you've spilled gasoline on your hands, don't rub your eyes.
5) Have adventures. Even little ones. When you look back at your life, I bet you won't remember a lot of the times you planted your ass on a couch and watched reality and game shows. You will remember the laughing, the sex, the fights, the places, the meals, the wounds, the debates and the hugs.
6) Most art, in any artform, is crap. Find the non-crap. Enjoy it. And when the mood strikes, even enjoy some of the crap.

3XHAR

Christmas/Birthday/Hanging/New Years

2007-01-01T20:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas this year was quite refreshing and fun. I spent it with my folks, Broski, Mrs. Broski, and My Nieces Three. The Broski family procured a really cool pool cue for 3XHAR! Thank you Broski Family! There was Mom’s apple pie, cookies and strata! And mashed potatoes! During the day, Anna, Kayla and I repatriated a lost dog to it’s rightful owner! Could Christmas get any better? Well, sure, but it’s just a saying. Everybody, calm down. Also, I've joined the ranks of the iPod users. Very neato.

Well, my birthday will always be associated with the day Saddam Hussein was hanged until dead! Sweet. So, while a mass murderer was swinging from a rope, I was playing pool, drinking beer and chatting with friends at the Downtown Great Dane! Remember kids: if you kill hundreds of thousands of people, you might die at the end of a rope, if you don’t, you can go play pool with friends! In your face, Hussein! I had a lovely time. Thanks and shout outs to my homeys who came to the Dane! And thanks to the honest feedback from the ladies on my really, really bad pickup lines! ('Hi, I'm 3XHAR. Two of my favorite things are commitment and changing myself.')

Spent New Year's Eve with friends over at Joey The Eye-Talian and Dutchy’s place. Spent today relaxing with the Hound, watching the HBO miniseries Rome on DVD. I enjoyed Rome and would watch it again with friends…

I will now muse on what I have learned from last year and make New Years Resolutions… Nah. I think I’ll just go to bed. Flannel sheets and a tired Hound make for good sleep.

This year, 2007, will be a grand year. I will make it so.

So Frighty!

2006-11-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

Since last Stein Night, too many interesting things have occurred to accurately recount. Life is improving, steadily, incrementally. I’ve had a cold for about two weeks, but other than that, things have been going smashingly! And then there was Stein Night:

Heather; Injun Or Indian?; 3XHAR Regrets What He Did To Highlight’s Right Ear; The Late Lodian; The Eye-Talian Explains His Love Of Ragu; The Power Of Steph; Election Fall Out; Why My Vote Ain’t Workin’?; Pelosi: War Dog Of The Left; Dutchy And D-Torg: Assault On The Mouse Stronghold; Perfection In Nature: The Mc Ribb; Five Really Nice Dudes; Hot Tub Rumors!; Iraq’s Dumb History (Recent And Ancient); Kilbot Shall Rise Again; Movie Night Scheduled!; The Essayist’s Little Robot; Exploding Lumberjack Tales And Tails; Tasty Food With No Meats; Schtoompah The Funny Austrian’s Dream Life; Why Insider’s Don’t Like Unapologetic Outsiders; Badger Hockey Road Trip; MmmmmmMMMmmammoth; Eye Color Check; The Departed; Cloud 9; The Comfort Conundrum; Nicole Kidman And Her Dirty, Dirty Bed; The Riot That Wasn’t; Hello Boys!; Speculation: The Cops Who Wore Mini-Skirts On Halloween May Not Have Been Cops; Women’s Prison Musicals; Movie Trivia Victory!; UW Sports; Mad Props To The Madison Theater’s Guild; Dr T And 3XHAR Agree Too Much; Did The Dancing Giese Mis-Quote 3XHAR?; Montana Is, And Has Always Been On Fire; Borat.

Stein Quake!

2006-10-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

Since my last post, my folks were in an earthquake in Hawaii, Hondo has recovered from his surgery and I’ve been socializing. [My folks are fine. They got woken up a half hour earlier than they’re used to; this was the extent of their earthquake damage.] The socializing included Stein Night last week, which is my segue to the recap of Stein Topics (completely from my memory!):

The Rev And The Other Rev; North Korea’s Bomb?; The Essayist; The Knitter; It Is Noted That Power Has Again Corrupted Moral Supremacists; My Incompetent Nemesis; Biking, But Not The Cool Harley Kind; Gay Marriage (And Many Other Topics): If It Does Not Affect My Paycheck, Then I Do Not Care; Experimental Diet: Candy Corn, Pizza, Coffee; Riot Tickets; 3XHAR’s Chia Head; Alternate All Hallow’s Eve Plans; Everybody Calm Down; Mexican Mask Adventures; Hot Tub Photos Denied!; The Loathsome Cig; The Punching And The Kicking And The Grappling; Should Basketball Really Be Considered A Sport?; UW Women’s Very Tall Girl Sport; Krick The Chameleon; Daves Versus Steves: Cage Match!; How To Make Dr T Puke; The Knitter And Dr T Plot And Plan; These Two Books Are For Highlights; With A Dog?; The Red Dave Meets The Red Elvis’s; Billiards: A Gentlemen’s Game Or A Game For Drunks?; The Fine Art Of Not Flirting; You Can’t Force The Plane To Crash In The Andes, It Just Has To Happen, Man; The Eye-Talian And Dutchy: Travel Maniacs!; Baseball And Football Enter The Octagon; [Shriek!] New People Scare Me; A Gut Full Of Potatoes; These Poker Guys Better Watch It, Because If They Start Something The Chips Will Fall Where They May; Does Liat Know More People Than The Knitter?; If 3XHAR Thinks He May Be A Hypochondriac, Then Is He?; When The Knitter Does The Ear Clear, Jesus Cries; Sucking The Marrow From A Pig’s Leg; Dave The Red’s And 3XHAR’s Aborted Greeting; The Round Table Has Fallen Into Disrepair; The Night The Rev And Mrs Rev Met.

Interesting. I’ve been in an on and off funk for some weeks. Writing seems to draw some of this angst away.

I need to climb around on my rooftop tomorrow night to make a home repair. If anyone remembers how the garage door or the garbage disposal repairs went, and you’re the religious type, maybe you want to go ahead and say a little prayer before you go to bed tonight. And if not, then To Hell With You, Crom! To make things interesting I’ll blindfold myself and tie one hand against my side. Place your bets.

Who Is The Master Now?

2006-09-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

So, Hondo (my dog) had surgery to remove some skin tags; this left him with two stitched incisions, one on the hip, the other on his paw. The vet (and everyone I spoke to) said I should have him wear one of those cones that limits the dog’s movement. I caved to popular opinion.

I put the cone on him Wednesday morning. I cleared the chairs from the kitchen, moved his bed downstairs under the kitchen table and tried to get him to lay down. He wouldn’t. He tried to back away from the cone and walked right down a stairway, backwards. He kept bashing the cone into doorframes, my legs, kitchen cabinets, food dish, water dish, windows, etc. He was trembling and scared of it, and I felt like a jerk when I had to leave for work.

I got home last night, Hondo was downstairs under a big oak table; all I could see was his eyes. When I called him he stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me, coneless. I still have not found it.

He has not fussed with his stitches.

Total Combat Awareness

2006-09-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

Just got back from riding my bike around the Lake. Many dead bugs lay caked in my eyes, as I was riding at dusk. Note: get goggles. And now, a report on this last weekend!

Friday night: Thaa Rev and Broken Little Person Sitting On A Tree Limb were watching the second season of ‘Lost’ on Big Plasma II. From the kitchen I heard, WHACK, then glass tinkling. The three of us sprang up and rushed out the door. As we stood on the stoop, I looked back and saw a small hole in the front window of my house, the kind of hole a small caliber bullet would make. I exclaimed, ‘Excuse me gents, I say, I believe we’re under attack!’ or something like that. To their credit, both comrades did a smart about face and headed right back into the house. They did not stay on the well-lit stoop while live rounds cracked about our heads exclaiming, ‘I say! Bullets? Well, what do you mean? Do you think we’re actually being shot at? Do we have enough information to act? I mean, what if they’re not bullets at all? Eh?’

We turned the lights in the house off, called the cops and kept a keen watch on the now sinister (but formerly really pleasant) street that I live on. A closer inspection determined that the window was not hit by a bullet, but probably was hit by a pellet gun. The first pane of double-pane glass was penetrated, but not the second. The cops showed up, the hound barked and barked, and no culprit has been found. There is no justice; there is just us.

So, now I wait. If no further acts like Friday occur, I’ll assume some goofball kid with a pellet gun is to blame. If my house gets shot at again, I'm attacked by masked men, or a horse head ends up in my bed, I’ll have to assume I have an enemy. Not much of an enemy… One too cowardly to show himself and too ridiculous to use a real weapon, like a chainsaw or trebuchet. Why can’t I have a nemesis with some flare?

The remainder of the weekend was excellent! Saturday at the Great Dane I played pool with The Broski, Mrs. Broski, Ted, Rik, Deeeeeej, Thaa Rev, Bruno, The Dancing Giese and BLPSOATL. Then Sunday: rode the bike around Madison’s lakes, watched most of the Packer game, napped on the couch with the hound, then went back to the Dane for more pool (which was free because the waitress decreed it so) and beer and Dr. T’s birthday party. Much fun was had by all.

3XNieces

2006-08-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Flew to Disneyworld to spend some time with my nieces-three. Woke at 3:30am Monday, drove to Milwaukee and then flew to Orlando. Nice flights, great time at Disney, pleasant family time. I have chronicled this journey in haiku.

Sunny Disneyworld!
Now my vacation begins!
It is raining now…

Where the Hell am I?
I fell asleep on the boat.
Now I’ll have to walk…

Heat, New York accents.
“I’ll beat the piss out of you.”
Cranky mom to kid.

Asphalt is melting.
It must be hot in those suits.
Tigger still capers.

MGM theme park.
Penning haiku in the shade.
Looking at women.

From nine until five.
“Tower of Terror, again!”
We’ve been on three rides.

My head’s burned again.
Cloudy and rainy, my ass!
Stupid weather man.

Hot kids get cranky.
Then Mickie Mouse shakes their hand.
The mouse chills them out.

A babble of tongues.
They pose and snap a photo.
One language in film.

Saw Cirque du Soleil.
Acrobats, clowns, trampolines.
I am out of shape.

Thunderclouds drift in.
Late in the day and still hot.
Time for one more ride.

“You shut up!” “Make me!”
“I don’t make butts, I wipe them!”
Quality niece-time.

“Go right here, no left!”
We have two points but no line.
The Broski drives on.

My stomach is upset.
Who must I meet on the plane?
Threat level Orange.

Too sleepy to read.
I’d rather write bad haiku.
Or watch the cloudscapes.

A bumpy plane ride.
Flight attendant falls over.
Lap dance? I decline.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2006-08-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

Since WRTIV I've been busy in the extreme: Concerts on the Square, work, furniture shopping, mundane household stuff, UW Women's Volleyball, Volleyball, socializing with the workies, Great Taste of the Midwest, and a lot of hanging out with friends. Now I'm off to Disneyland for a few days with my family. Gotta be up at 3:30am to catch a 7:30am flight and I can't bring any toothpaste.

Stupid fucking terrorists.

WRTIV

2006-07-25T12:41:00.000-07:00

Got back this morning at around 7am, I think. WRTIV was pretty cool.

Write On Your Blog, Not On Your Butt

2006-07-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

I’ve taken a few weeks of vacation to sort out my house (henceforth referred to as The Compound), prepare for Wacky Road Trip IV ™, and clear my head. I, with the help of Broken Little Person Sitting On A Tree Limb, have done much furniture shopping. It amazes me how much you can pay for a simple platform to place your ass on.

I sat on Library Mall yesterday, facing up State Street with a view of Madison’s capitol building. When I first walked onto the mall, I came to realize that I was standing on a big, ten foot wide chalk-drawn swastika! My first thought was, ‘This is odd for Madison, and stranger still on campus.’ My second thought was, ‘So, here I am, a guy with a shaved head, standing on a ten foot wide swastika. This can’t look good.’ I removed myself from the swastika and sat down nearby. (I took a closer look later, the swastika was in a circle with a line through it, it was for a rally against hate groups.)

Initially I was drinking coffee and reading Arthur C. Clarke’s ‘Rendezvous With Rama’, but then the people watching became too interesting so I put the book down and just gave in to it.

A woman sat to my left, carefully placed some religious pamphlets around her and pulled her guitar out of it’s case. Oh boy, I thought, this could be really, really bad. She strummed and sang and surprisingly she had a high clear voice with which she sang some hymnish tunes. ‘Blessed be the merciful, blessed be the peacemakers, something, something, something, blah, blah, for they will be killed.’ It is unfortunate that my attention wandered to a woman who walked by, whose black shorts declared ‘I HEART NY.’ I considered asking the Hymnster, ‘Uh, I apologize, I was distracted by that woman’s butt-message, which, similar to your song, was a message of love. Could you clarify who exactly is going to be killed?’ But, another guy walked over to the Hymnster and dove right into a theological debate with her.

I proceeded to focus my attention on the heat-dressed women. Saw some hot muslim women; hot because they were wearing head coverings and long sleeves and it was a hot day. They may or may not have been ‘hot’ as my people use this word, but again, they were all covered up, so who can tell? Lot’s of women with Ipods, hardly any men sporting them. Several women were sporting shorts with butt-messages, but like the Ipods, no men with butt-messages that I noted. For whatever record you’re keeping, I’m not going to feel badly about reading something someone has on their body. And I’m not going to feel badly about reading it two or three times. Or however many times it takes!

I enjoyed watching bicyclists race up to the signs stating: ‘No Bicycle Riding on Sidewalk’. Some abided this decree; others stuck it to The Man and slalomed through the brightly painted juice vendors at ridiculous speeds.

A very relaxing morning indeed! I could continue, but you get the idea. I’m on vacation. I’m relaxing and being somewhat productive. Tomorrow I leave on Wacky Road Trip IV ™, so I won’t be posting for at least a week. Two thousand miles of road, three days in Seattle, then two thousand more miles of road. Sweet. Could this vacation be any more relaxing?

The Marble Is Moving

2006-07-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

Breaking up is a learning process, and my learning curve is skateboard-ramp steep right now. For the prior nine months, I guess it’s been flat enough where you’d be lucky to get a marble to roll on it.

Saturday, after Lis vacated, I had to go to Target to replenish my stores of many things. Then, as indicated in my last post, I went to IKEA to further round out my stuff. Is it just me, or is it kind of funny that I didn’t own any pillows, sheets, hangers or towels? I find some humor in this, but humor is sometimes difficult to explain.

I asked Lis about the towels. “I don’t own any towels?” She sort of shrugged and said, “Those were mine before we moved in.” OK. Fine. We haven’t bought any towels in nine years, I guess.

It’s weird. I get incandescently pissed off for a moment, then clamp down on that feeling and think. This is what you want to discuss? This is what you want to argue about? Nine dollar towels? So, I go and buy new towels. I’m wondering if I’ve ‘moved on’ when I stop getting that flare of angst. I’ve had these weird dizzying headaches for the last month and a half; I wonder what my blood pressure is at, and if it’s dropping now that We Can Move On.

Independence Day

2006-07-09T04:49:00.000-07:00

Since my last post I have celebrated Independence Day, gone to a minor league baseball game (Madison Mallards v LaCrosse Loggers), gone out with the workies a few times, saw X-Men 3 (liked it, but I'm a sucker for super-powers done well), went to Art Fair on the Square, Concerts on the Square, Jim's 4th of July picnic and Lisa moved out. My friends have done an admirable job of distracting me, especially lately.

She moved out yesterday with the help of many friends and from all accounts, it went well.

The house is bare, so today, I head to IKEA to refurnish. Must go, maybe I'll post more later.

Just a few weeks.

2006-06-26T21:39:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, I was involved in a Tae Kwon Do studio that used full contact sparring to train. You’d wear pads on your hands and feet and throw a mouth guard in. The point was to condition you to what it felt like to take a punch. What’s the use of unrealistic training that leaves you curled up in a ball the first time somebody get’s lucky or sneaky?

Anyway, I tested for my green belt which included forms (formalized moves in a specific sequence) and sparring. During the sparring I was paired against a guy who was testing for his red belt (two ranks higher than me, I think). I was not doing badly, keeping my head moving, throwing combinations when I could find an opening, when I took the hardest strike I have ever endured to my head. My vision rapidly narrowed to a point (think of a quarter held at arms length as the aperture) and I had the oddest feeling that my torso was extending into space far in front of my hips and legs. I churned my legs to keep them under me, my visual scope swept the small assemblage (my dad and Kwik were there). This must have only taken a second or two, but I still remember it vividly; it was a unique experience. The ref grabbed my gloves and steadied me. He asked if I wanted to continue; of course I said yes. I stuck to a somewhat groggy defensive strategy for the remainder of my time, but stayed up and earned the belt. I learned later that my opponent had snuck a kick up and tagged me in the side of the head.

For the last nine months or so, I have felt somewhat like that moment, just after the kick connected. I have been myopic, confused and pained. I have been churning my legs, trying to keep them under me.

I won’t use (self imposed) banned phrases like ‘looking into the abyss’ or singing big-hair ballads about how ‘I can take the pai-ai-ai-ain!’ I will admit that I never anticipated the duration and severity of this. I can be creative, but my imagination failed me here. I acknowledge it is unlike my normal manly lumberjacky self to admit to near-daily crying jags, but there you go. Going to work every weekday is an escape. Waking up every weekend morning is a grim exertion. Time spent with friends is a high-purity distraction.

My apologies for the self-pitying tone of this post. I’m sure to read this some time in the future and wrinkle my nose at my lack of stoicism, or my inability to keep my legs under me through this.

Lisa moves out July 8th. Then Wacky Road Trip IV a few weeks after that. It’s funny (not 3XHAR funny, but peculiar) but I don’t have any emotion whatsoever elicited by either upcoming event. Currently though, my moods radically change very rapidly, which I also apologize for. When my mood is in an up-tick, I see WRTIV as a cathartic event, a breaking away and a returning to a New 3XHAR Order. So I’m keeping my feelers out for the next up-tick.

Worm Toss

2006-05-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

Played volleyball tonight. Went to the Great Dane Downtown Madison and hung out, got to know some new players and got to hang out with some old friends. It was a pleasant evening. Got home and had to move my car into the garage…

I walked out to my car. On the driveway, in the dark and the fog, was a long worm situated directly in the path my car would take to the garage. Now, this may be the two pitchers of ESB talking, but I had to move this worm out of the way. Not moving it would leave it on the driveway to be crushed under my wheels. I went to pick it up, and of course, being a worm, it was slimy and wriggly and agitated that I was trying to grab it. After two or three tries I got a firm grip and tossed it onto the lawn.

Just after I tossed the worm onto the lawn, I stood there and remembered an interaction the Goody Reverend Mueller and I had some time ago. I had done something to control Hondo, and The Goody Reverend Mueller had said something like, “It’s all about the control…” This innocuous statement by the Rev lead to a minor rant from me that basically stated A) I’m smarter than Hondo and can see cause and effect better then he (like I can see a car coming down the road where Hondo may only see the rabbit he wants to get directly across the street) and B) if I don’t intercede and control Hondo then sooner or later his lack of foresight will kill him (again, the road). C) It is not unethical to use this foresight to control Hondo and to make him safer by it.

This lead me to question my foresight, my own decisions, and to wonder, briefly, if I can trust my own judgment right now; or should I trust the advice of others. Not right now, having had a few beers, standing in my driveway in the night and this luminous, streetlit fog. But, right now, not sleeping, eating sporadically (I’ve lost a little weight), depressed-ish. I will think about this, and I suppose, knowing myself as I do, I’ll keep whatever answer I come to to myself.

The Disc

2006-04-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

For the last few weeks I’ve been playing Ultimate Frisbee, here in Madison. I have some observations.

I am not good at this game. I am out of shape. I found myself huffing around the field, chasing down the disc, wondering, ‘What are you doing?’ Only experience can answer this question, as long as I don’t quit. What am I doing? I’m getting better at it. I’m getting in shape.

The first weeks, like any new hobby/activity/adventure, I learned much. I learned basic tactics and terms. I learned about the zone defense and I learned the dire repercussions of not playing the zone defense correctly. I learned that when you get steamrolled you should call a foul (in my defense, I was confused and dazed). I learned that a novice should seek out opposing novices and stick to them. I learned that if I play three straight points I’m done for the night. I have begun to learn a forehand throw. I learned to STAND UP before I throw the disc. I am learning patience. I have learned that during the normal course of events in daily life, I never, ever, sprint. The guys who play have been accommodating in the extreme, explaining a great many things to me and helping me with my throws.

Even this bit of exercise a few times a week seems to have an effect on my mood. Endorphins, I’m told. The other two positive effects are that when I’m exhausted I sleep more consistently (through the night, more or less) and it makes me hungry enough to eat…

I Must Be More British

2006-04-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

This week I was ill from Sunday through Wednesday. At first I thought it might have been some indeterminately aged salmon I found in the fridge, but as the days crawled by I realized it may have been some bug I caught, or just internalizing and reacting (badly) to stress. I have no particular schedule right now as far as eating or sleeping. I’m able, with effort, to focus at work, but have been ingesting massive quantities of coffee, Red Bull, and chocolate covered coffee beans. I get home and am exhausted. If this continues for a few more weeks I may see a professional, but really, probably not. (Some of you may be aware of my proclivity to put of health related visits)

OK. I’m depressed, I get it. I hit the majority of the DSMIV criteria, most notably mood, lack of appetite and disturbed sleep patterns. My concentration and memory are shot all to hell. It is only with the most intense effort that I agree to and meet people socially. Please note: this is not a call for help, I just want to get this out there in case family and friends are wondering things like, ‘Why isn’t 3XHAR too talkative?’ or ‘Geez, 3XHAR sure snapped on me for no reason,’ or ‘If I have to repeat myself to him again, I shall club him.’

Since I haven’t posted in a while and since I need to try to use my memory and since I have to occupy my time doing something, anything really: Here is the Stein Night recap from last Wednesday’s Stein Night:

The Ed Conundrum; Short People Should Be Dated; WRTIV: This Time A Man Is The Destination; Why Must The Men Move The Boulder Two Feet?; Why My Happy Hour Beer Ain’t Workin’?; The Dancing Giese And 3XHAR Settle Up; Salmon And The Level Of Un-Needed Detail; Analysis: Arbitrary And Chosen Criteria; The Addition And Immediate Subsequent Removal Of Rookie Number III; Positive Reinforcement At Work; Brokeback Mountain And A Brief Review Of Ang Lee’s Other Fine Films; A Brief Discussion Of Weekend Plans, Or A Lack Of Them; Jim’s Home Brewed Birthday Cervezas; Crazy Legs; Ripples From Chicago; Orgy Class; Punch Drunk Love; Explaining The Stein Web; Monsters In The Basement; Deal Breakers; Comparative Analysis: The Equality Of Arthur’s Table And The Table Of The Stein; Good Things From Russia; Break Dance Fighting: Very Possibly Not A Martial Art; Tito And The Shamrock!; The Third Meeting Of Dr. Black; 3XHAR: Independent Voter?; Old Highlights, But Still Smashing!; Where Did The Libertarian Vice Presidential Candidate Sleep?; The Victory, Transcendence And Glory Of The Red Bull; I Am Not OK With The Touching; Wingmen And Work Wingwomen; How India Learned To Love The Atomic Bomb; Social Signal Significance of The Hair; Migraines Suck; Pauly’s Hairstyle Explained; Tricksie Waitresses; The Imzadi Gambit; That One Strand Of Hair Loose, Wild And Sassy, Two Loose Strands, Not So Much; Trying To Figure Some People Out And Failing And Then Maybe Not; 3XHAR Maligned!; Take My Mug, Please!; The Cardinal; The Habit Of Foul Language; Why I Don’t Care About Immigration, But Should; Stream Of Consciousness Conversations; Freaky Ninja Bathroom Trip; Hondo’s Rocky Gut; Deadbeat Renters; The Plane Scenarios; What Time Must You Rise?.

Not bad. It is late and I am tired.

And just to be clear, again, this is not a cry for help. I have no intention of doing anything radically more stupid than usual. I just wanted to note it so people know what is going on, and why I don't call or write or even speak sometimes. I don't want to offend. It is difficult to put myself in drive and I am weary. Once it’s been duly noted I would then like to stoically ignore it. I would like to behave, at least publicly, in a more or less dignified and slightly British fashion.

Better days will come, not because they must, but because they will be made.

Division

2005-11-24T06:17:00.000-08:00

Lisa and I broke up.

October Stein Round Up

2005-10-16T21:15:00.000-07:00

Last week Wednesday, the second Wednesday of the month, was Stein Night at the Come Back in. It was a good night, with much spirited debate, quality beer and many, many opinions. Here is my disordered recollection of the night’s topics:

‘Atlas Shrugged’; ‘The Fountainhead’; The Ringworld Series; It Was Declared That 3XHAR Was, Is, And Shall Be Wrong; The True Star Wars, IV, V, And VI; It Is Reported That The Dancing Giese Has Misquoted Yoda, After A Brief Investigation, The Dancing Giese Is Cleared Of All Charges; Hating Is Wrong, Unless You Hate A Conservative President; Dubya Is A Brain Damaged Coke Head And He Is As Wrong As 3XHAR About Everything, And He’s A Liar And He’s Dumb And He Stole The Election And He Lied About The War And He Has A Texas Accent; Vibs And The Dancing Giese Make A Bold Prediction: No Democracy In Iraq For The Next 20 Years (The Recent Elections Are Not Counted As Democracy); 3XHAR Predicts Democracy In Iraq In Five Years (If You Don’t Count This Saturday’s Election For Some Reason); Strangely, Someone At The Table Is Attracted To Baby Cows; 3XHAR Shall Not Look At The Hair; Donde Esta Galvez?; The New Medical Concern: Chest Pain; Wine; The Movie Jedi Speaks, Then Gestures Hypnotically; Intelligent Design Is Not A Theory That Has Any Scientific Or Predictive Value; The Definition Of Terrorism Has No Bearing On The Act’s Justifications; 3XHAR Makes Outlandish Claims: He Will Run In The Chicago Marathon Next Year; The Whiteness Of Madison; Excuse Me, What Is Your Elephant’s Name?; 3XHAR Reminisces… Timpano, Soprano’s Premiere, The Sauce Of Joe; Why Was My Glass Mug In A Kiln?; The Nice Breezy Lull, Bracketed By Storms; Are The Palestinian’s The First True Arab Democracy?; Dutch Gets The Six Day War; A Table Of Daves; Do Not Weep For The Lost Manufacturing Jobs; The Danger Of Only Reading That Which You Find Agreeable; The Carnal Upside To Volleyball.

3XHAR

Escape From New Orleans

2005-09-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

I. Do not underestimate how stupidly or cruelly people will act when they determine their behavior will have no adverse consequence to themselves.

II. Prevention is almost always cheaper and easier than curing.

If you buy into the two above statements, then you should understand my next: III. Looters should be shot early and often.

It seems the earlier policy in Post Apocalypse New Orleans of ignoring the looting in order to rescue civilians has backfired. Now the looters, armed and emboldened, currently have the upper hand. The newest news off cnn.com notes that relief and rescue efforts have stopped at night because of armed gangs ambushing vehicles with supplies and (seemingly) randomly shooting at others.

I saw an interview with the police chief of Miami last night. During this interview he said something like, ‘We used to go and shoot looters when things like this (disaster) happened, but I think we’ve gotten past that kind of thing now.’ HARHARHAR. In other words, ‘We are a civilized people. We value life over property. We have no word for ‘protecting property’ in our culture!’ It’s like some poorly written character on Star Trek talking down to the audience about how wrong it is to kill those who are merely stealing! Silly atomic age humans!

When you let a person do wrong and you let them get away with it, you invite them to do bigger wrongs. When cops fail to stop looters from looting you embolden the looters to commit worse crimes. From the looter’s point of view this is merely an intelligent and evil reaction to their new circumstances. If the cops can’t stop me from stealing, they probably can’t stop me from stealing guns. If they can’t stop me from stealing guns, how can they stop me from killing someone? Or shooting at a rescue chopper for kicks?

Not only do you invite a specific criminal to escalate their own behavior, but you invite others to learn from the criminal’s actions and modify their own behavior. This escalation is the direct opposite of deterrence.

Would looters, bandits and gunmen have been deterred by an initial spate of killings by police? I like to think so; it seems difficult to believe the current situation could be worse. Was this even an option for the outnumbered and uncoordinated police? Unknown, but I’ve read of incidents on both sides of that coin. When confronted by evil, inaction is most often the worst policy.

Instead of prevention (i.e. killing looters) now we must face the cure stopping rescue procedures while thousands of National Guard units are mobilized to retake Post Apocalypse New Orleans.

Oh, a last somewhat related point: place your bets on when the international community and/or the U.N. will come to the United States aid with food, shelter, money and other aid. Any time now… Any time… HARHARHAR!

Mental Note: Stop Borrowing Wonder Woman's Car

2005-08-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in my 1998 Saturn SL1, eating Freedom Fries, listening to Left of the Stein Radio (this is a sort of endurance test for me). The car was parked in a Starbuck’s parking lot, normally a Safe Place for 3XHAR. But not this day… oh no, not this day. About 20-25 feet away I saw an SUV’s back-up lights go on. And back-up he did. Fifteen, ten, five feet away. At ten feet I was thinking, ‘OK, now he’ll put it in drive and pull into that space to his left.’ At five feet I was thinking, ‘Does he see me?’ At zero-feet we had contact, and I was thinking, ‘What the [expletive deleted]?’

The guy hops out and states that the accident is all his fault. Then he says, ‘I looked and you weren’t there and then you were there and I hit you!’ I reminded my new acquaintance that my car was stationary the whole time, I was parked, my car had not moved, his car had been in motion, in reverse and had hit my inert, non-moving vehicle. ‘Oh,’ he stated, ‘Yeah.’ $656.38 in damages. New headlight, new bumper.

This would be a pretty generic minor accident tale, except for this: my car is invisible. You see, this is not the first accident I’ve had the pleasure of participating in. My car was hit in the parking lot while I was at the Come Back In enjoying a very rainy Stein Night. I couldn’t see the damage on account of the night and the rain. And I couldn’t read the note someone had left on the windshield, again, on account of the rain. Basically, someone hit my car, dented the door and left the scene!

The second time my car was hit was a few years ago on my birthday. Again, I was stationary and again some guy hit me, apologized and mentioned that he had looked and I had not been there! This was especially memorable because it was my birthday and because Lis hopped out of the car and accosted the bad driver with, ‘So, you weren’t looking, or what?’ HARHARHAR! That Lis, she kills me!

And now this other guy hits me at Starbucks. Being a tool using, pattern recognizing primate (An intelligently designed primate? I think not.) I have deduced two opposing theories:

1) My car is invisible. Strangely, several years of testing seem to support this theory.
2) There are drivers out there who, in rain or sunshine, are inept enough to hit a stationary car. Now, I like to think the best of folks, so I’m going to stick to my invisible car theory and go on believing that people are basically good and smart and responsible.

I mean, what else is a moderate Libertarian to do? If I don’t believe that people can basically take care of themselves, be responsible for their own behavior and make good cost/benefit decisions, then I’d have to give into some kind of liberal noblesse oblige paternalism. Nope. My car is invisible.

Civility

2005-07-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

Lis and I went to see ‘War of the Worlds’ this evening. Loved the movie. Nice epic feel to it. One of my top three apocalypses (the others being ‘Road Warrior’ apocalypse and Zombie films). As for a review of the film itself I’ll defer to Salvius. This blogpost is about the guy who stepped in three fourths of the way through the film…

So, this guy sneaks into the movie about three fourths of the way through the film and sits a few rows behind Lis and 3XHAR. This does not particularly bug 3XHAR because in his youth I’m sure 3XHAR did something similar. Guy then begins to munch loudly on popcorn. Now, if you’ve seen the film you’ll realize that for 3XHAR to hear Guy munching Guy must be munching pretty loudly. The movie is loud, with many scary noises, things blowing up, screaming, etc. Anyway, what 3XHAR hears is: stuff blowing up, munch, munch, munch, screaming, munch, munch. Very Homer Simpson. Still, I am a man of peace and Guy has not hit 3XHAR’s critical mass for a Civility Correction.

Then Guy’s cell phone rings. And not just rings, it plays a little song. Loudly.

When critical mass for a Civility Correction is reached things proceed very rapidly. I whipped out of my chair, took two giant strides to Guy, put my face about four or six inches from his face (all I could see in the theater were these two big fried-egg eyes) and said, “Please, do not let me hear that again.” I said it sternly. I then returned to my seat.

Guy left a few minutes later. Probably had to take another call.

Now, there are those who say people are less civil than some nebulous time in the past. 3XHAR does not believe this is true. I think there have always been uncivil folk. I believe that new gadgets just allow new and novel ways to express your incivility.

I also believe that if left unchecked, people who are prone to incivility may be obtuse enough to not even know they are acting inappropriately. Hence, the need for Civility Corrections.

Old Phoner

2005-07-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went to a favorite breakfast place for some 3XHAR Time. I sat, I ate, I read and I watched and listened to… people. There was this little old lady (Old Phoner) who, despite plenty of non-inhabited dining space, sat down directly behind me (a sign?). She got on her cell phone and began calling people, one after the other. During each call Old Phoner asked the person on the other end of the call to pray for an acquaintance of hers. The acquaintance had a wide range of bad behavior and bad judgments from what I could hear, and I heard a lot: addicted to sleeping pills, pregnant, addicted to sleeping pills while pregnant, yells at people, expects people to help her out with little or no thanks, is lazy, and doesn’t go to church.

Now, I’ve never received a call from anyone requesting that I pray for anyone. This is sensible because the call would almost invariably turn into one of those calls that the Mormons used to have to suffer through when they used to call me. HARHARHAR.

Prayer. Explain this to me. In Old Phoner’s case, she was asking people to beseech the Almighty Dog, Creator of the Universe, Omniscient and Omnipotent, to do what? To have Dog intervene and change Bad Decision Girl’s luck? Or to interfere with Bad Decision Girl’s free will? Either way, I thought Dog had a plan. I’m always told that things happen for a metaphysical (as opposed to a physical) reason. Well, if Dog has a plan, then all the prayer you could muster won’t change it, right? I mean, things are going according to plan, so why waste your time?

The other kind of prayer I hear about is more like a thank you note than an index card in Dog’s suggestion box. ‘Hey, Dog, thanks for having my chute open when I jumped out of that plane.’ If the common conception of Dog is that Dog is omniscient (all knowing) then Dog already knows you’re thankful, so, again, why waste your time?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking any religion to make sense, I’m just saying I’ll start believing in one when I find one that does.

Don't Suspect Your Neighbor, Report Him!

2005-06-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

The night before last Lis and I were woken at 1:23am by Hondo’s barking. Hondo had run down to the street-facing kitchen window and could not be quieted. I noted that I could hear an intermittent car horn; immediately I thought someone could have been getting attacked or some such. I got dressed and went outside. One house down to the left (my most excellent neighbor Mike’s house), on the sidewalk was a Jeep. On it’s side. Mike was just coming outside, both of us noted the Jeep. We climbed up on it to determine if anyone was inside. The Jeep was not occupied. The horn kept bleating, on and off.

The Jeep Mystery was quickly solved when the owner ran up to Mike and I and stated he owned the Jeep, was on his cell phone, wasn’t paying attention, ran off the road and rolled the Jeep. Jeep-Roller had run over to Bert The Cop's house because Bert The Cop should know what to do. Soon the following neighbors were assembled: 3XHAR, Mike, The Kid, Bert The Cop, Jeep-Roller. Jeep-Roller only had to make it fifty more feet to get to his own driveway. A consensus evolved to defer to Bert The Cop regarding the necessity of notifying the authorities. Bert The Cop did not indicate a call was necessary. In a neighborly and quite manly fashion we up-righted the Jeep. Jeep-Roller started the vehicle and drove the remaining fifty feet to his driveway. The Jeep was totaled.

There was speculation that evening by The Kid, myself (3XHAR), and Mike that Jeep-Roller may have had a drink prior to rolling his Jeep onto Mike’s sidewalk. I thought I smelled alcohol, but didn’t notice Jeep-Roller acting intoxicated. When The Kid asked Bert The Cop if he thought Jeep-Roller was drunk, he stated: ‘I don’t know. I didn’t ask him (Jeep-Roller) any questions.’ Fine.

It must be asked: should I have called the police to have them investigate this accident? Have I acted immorally or unethically by my inaction? My rationalizations for not calling the police are:

1. There was already an off duty cop there. We deferred to his specialized knowledge on these matters. He did not indicate a necessity to notify the authorities.

2. There were no injuries and no property damage other than Jeep-Rollers Jeep. Had there been injuries or property damage I would have felt it necessary for me to notify the authorities.

3. In 3XHAR World the police are only called in emergency situations, and to my way of thinking, this did not qualify as an emergency. Again, no injuries and no property damage. I dislike involving the authorities in almost any circumstance.

4. The Long Memory of Neighbors. This one takes some explaining. I’ve had an enduring concern about getting stuck with bad neighbors. In my childhood we lived in a nice quiet area, quiet except for one bad neighbor. In adulthood I’ve considered myself lucky that my neighbors do not generally annoy me, are not needlessly malicious, do not keep me awake at night. I do not want to be the neighbor who falsely accuses another neighbor of any crime. Once you’ve crossed that line you can end up with a permanently stained interaction that could last years. So, when it comes to calling the police on a neighbor I have a pretty high threshold of evidence that needs to be met, and this situation did not meet it.

The next day Lisa looked up the Jeep-Roller household through some websites. There’s no history of drunk driving or any other law breaking that she could find… Have to keep an eye on them now... Those folks just ain't right.

3XBARF

2005-06-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

Monday night, starting at about 4:35pm, I spent an epic 18-hour marathon on the bathroom floor. My Lisa, poor Lisa, was subjected to the sounds of volley after volley of strange and exotic gastrointestinal catastrophe. I couldn’t even keep down two mouthfuls of water.

I tried to go to work yesterday and came home after about an hour and a half. Today, my manager and the director of my department sent me home after I had a salad for lunch. That’s what you get for eating like a rabbit. They said my color was changing as they were watching me…

My symptoms: vomitting, headache, maybe a slight fever at times. [As of this writing, my current rabbity lunch is still inside my body.]

Anyway, this bout of illness has allowed me to catch up on many movies and TV shows. While ill I have watched ‘The Last Samurai’, ‘Shrek II’ and the entire series, ‘Band of Brothers’.

Watching ‘Band of Brothers’ all the way through was kind of a treat. Easier to follow than watching weekly installments. Very moving. It’s one of my favorite TV series, right up there with ‘From Earth to the Moon’ and ‘Sopranos’. Ah, cable series…

Prior to my illness I had watched the following films on the Sony: ‘Gladiator’, ‘Blackhawk Down’, ‘City of God’, ‘The Outlaw Josey Wales’, ‘Donnie Darko’ and parts of ‘Return of the King (yeah, the Minas Tirith battle)’ and ‘The Hulk (the tank fight)’.

I hadn’t seen ‘Shrek II’, ‘Donnie Darko’, or ‘City of God’ previously. I’d highly recommend ‘City of God’ and ‘Shrek II’, and recommend ‘Donnie Darko’ if you’re looking for something surreal and trippy like ‘Pi’ or ‘Vanilla Sky’. I’d suggest watching ‘City of God’ after you watch the documentary that’s part of the disc. Grim.

I can’t write more. Have to lie down.

Stein Night Recap, June

2005-06-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this half a week from the event itself, so cut me some slack and feel free (if you attended) to fill in the topics you recall... But, anyway, here is a vague and incomplete recap of subjects discussed last Stein Night:

Krakauer’s Mormons; Waitress Rage; Baseball; Re-Speaking History, Addendums And Corrections; Suburban Critter Alerts; Meteoric Leg-Hip-Spine; Blogapalooza, The Great Blog Quiz Of 2005, The Many Uses Of Blogs, Discussions Of The Blog As A Debate Medium; The Knife!; As If On Cue, A Lisa Shows Up; New And Improved Anti-Insurgent Tactics; Is Syria Next, And If Not, Should It Be?; Visits To The Green And Gold; New Super-Heated Gas TV; Oil; A Frenetic Week; Rock Star Parking Achievements; Subtle And Not So Subtle Differences Between Israeli’s Killing Arab Terrorists And Chechen Separatists Killing School Children; Marathon Work Shifts; Red Bull; Green Cars And GM; When The Round Table Is Not Ours, It’s Chair Roulette; Death And Deaths; Wal-Mart Just Can’t Win; Where The Hell Did The Israeli’s Get An Idi Amin Doppleganger On Such Short Notice?; Stein Night Attendees Reiterate A General Belief That Kim Jong Il Is Quite Mad; Is Your State On Fire, Under Water, Or Frozen Solid, And Which Do You Prefer?; A Singing Of Happy Birthday Is Narrowly Avoided; Jim’s Hair Is Huge, And Not So Different From A Certain Insane North Korean Tyrants Hair; The Middle Class Mildly Risk Aversive Theory Of Steady Growth; It Ain't Mug Night, It's Stein Night; Homicide Statistics: Chicago Organized Crime Versus Mexico.

Painting

2005-06-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

Every year My Lisa and I, 3XHAR, attend Art Fair On The Square in Madison, WI. Last year we purchased a photo from Lee Rentz. The photo is titled, ‘Antarctic Ice I: A tribute to Shackleton’. You can check it out on his website at www.leerentz.com. I love the sun-lit ice blues, and the Shackleton tie-in really got me. Mr. Rentz was affable and interesting; we will certainly visit him again at this year’s fair on July 9-10th.

The photo will now be placed in our newly finished downstairs room. Thanks to Broken Little Person Sitting On A Treelimb, the painting has been finished. Tomorrow I’ll replace the doors, rearrange the furniture and tidy up. Tuesday the new TV will arrive: 42” Sony, plasma widescreen. It seemed lonely in the store and needed a home.

Sylvia K Bartlett

2005-05-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Lisa’s grandmother died early this morning at Angel’s Grace Hospice in Oconomowoc.

I’ll miss the holiday visits. Hondo, our dog, was always welcome and would sleep at our feet under the table when we ate.

I always liked how she gave rude people a hard time. A meter reader guy had gone to her house and then had left. He came back and let himself and a coworker into her basement without knocking. Grandma stood at the top of the basement stairs, waved her cane at them and gave them a lesson in good manners. HARHARHAR. Grandma was always polite. She lived alone for a long time and was always moved when her family would help her out. She was always thankful for their generosity.

She loved her grandkids (Lisa, Jeff, Eric, Matt and Mike) and would get choked up or laugh talking about them. She had a great storehouse of tales about them; the times they spent at the farm, funny things they did as little kids. A few nights ago I sat next to her and held her hand. I couldn’t speak for a bit and she said, ‘I love you too dear.’ I talked to her about Lis for a while after that. One of the last things she said to me was, ‘I love her so much.‘

I admired her straightforwardness and know that’s where Lisa gets her no-nonsense attitude from. Grandma gave me a hard time once about my doctor, who Lisa was not fond of (when visiting this doctor for a recurring and sometimes severe stomach pain, over a two year period, the doctor stated: ‘Well, 3XHAR, some people just have pain.’ And ‘Well, it’s not cancer. If it was you’d be dead by now.’). I gave Grandma a quizzical look, apparently she and Lis had been talking. She said, ‘Oh yeah, I know about that guy. And don’t think I won’t say anything either. That guys a quack. You think I wasn’t going to say anything? You’re my grandson too. You need to (listen to Lisa and) see someone who knows what they’re doing.’ They were right and their ganging up on me made me get healed.

The hospice allowed dogs to visit. Hondo licked grandma’s hand and staked out the room as his territory. New nurses and other visitors were greeted by his proximity alarm-howl. Second time visitors got his ‘wuff’. When things quieted down he would make the rounds from person to person in the room, sit at their feet and wait for an ear-scratching.

The hospice let us visit at any time, to sit quietly with her and hold her hand. The hospice was the best case scenario in a bad situation with only one possible outcome. She was independent and did not want to go to a nursing home. Grandma was ready to die, she had been diagnosed with lymphoma and had decided to forego chemotherapy. I admire the courage of her decision and hope (with great doubt) that I have a share of the grace she had at her end.

Collateral

2005-04-26T20:19:00.000-07:00

This is a slightly modified post originally posted by me on Thaa Rev's blog, Manual Override:

How cognizant of collateral damage should leaders be when making the decision to use armed force? Per international law, attacks cannot be indiscriminate. Article 57 of the 1977 Additional Protocol I to the 1949 Geneva Conventions states that, in an international conflict, “constant care shall be taken to spare the civilian population, civilians, and civilian objects.” Also, collateral damage from an attack has to be proportional to the anticipated military advantage. [Crimes of War, Gutman and Rieff, 1999]

Israeli troops have often used armed force to assassinate Hamas leaders and other Palestinians who Israel has deemed are either enemy combatants or are controlling enemy combatants. As often as not these attacks kill innocent bystanders. Israel’s rationalization of the collateral damage is that it’s proportionate to the anticipated military advantage. By killing a high ranking Hamas member, his bodyguards and a half dozen bystanders, Israel would argue, hundreds of innocent Israeli civilians would be saved.

Palestinian suicide bombers take no care to limit civilian casualties; obviously, their methods are designed to maximize these non-military deaths. In my opinion, the Palestinians who engineer these attacks and those who enact them are murderers, not soldiers. Their chosen methods, mass murder of civilians, make it difficult for me to empathize with their plight or argue on their behalf. Thankfully, for Israelis and Palestinians alike, a change in management on the Palestinian side may be the beginning of the end of this stupidity and cruelty.

As far as the American military is concerned I think the US often tries to adhere to the ‘rules of war’. I recall early reports of troops taking care not to direct fire against mosques and hospitals in Iraq until fire was received by them. The development of smart weaponry is not only better to kill with, but by design limits civilian casualties (if limiting civilian casualties was not in our interest, wouldn’t weapons designers build huge payloads and be less precise?). I don’t know if I’ve ever read about a war without collateral damage, but I do believe that the American military generally tries to avoid it. (tactics utilized in Vietnam are an obvious exception to this rule: carpet bombing, free fire zones, etc)

The exact opposite of trying to limit collateral damage is to purposefully target non-military civilian targets. The 9/11 hijackers fall into this end of the spectrum. And again, I see those 19 men as little more than mass murderers with the technical skills to allow them to pull off their mission. I believe they had intellectual blinders on allowing them to rationalize the murder of thousands of innocents and the cruelty to put their plans into action. And I hate people like that.

Point, Non Counter Point

2005-04-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

A Pre-Stein Night observation: Sometimes it happens at Stein Night, and other conversations where topics lead to heat, where a point will be made. At this point in the conversation a rebuttal of the point may be in order, but instead of a rebuttal the second person in the conversation doesn’t even address the first point, they go and make their own (seemingly unrelated) point. This is not an efficient way to get at the truth. It is a rhetorical trick. I think the goal is to divert the momentum of the conversation away from an unpleasant truth or a difficult and precarious rebuttal.

To be clear, here is an example:

3XHAR: A

NotHAR: Oh? What about B?

3XHAR: You have not addressed A.

NotHAR: You have not addressed B!

I’ve noticed this a lot when politics comes up. Oh, and it doesn’t help to address B. NotHAR will just move on to C and D without ever addressing A. A just ends up standing out there all alone like one of those high school dreams where you’re standing there in your underwear in the middle of class…

3XHAR: Bush/Clinton did this awful thing. Please acknowledge it’s awfulness or defend it.

NotHAR: Clinton/Bush did this other unrelated thing! What about that? Now you defend that.

3XHAR: Uh… you haven’t addressed my first statement…

Please, just answer the question. If your rebuttal is ripped apart, then either refine and restate it or change your mind.

Interestingly, this happens with blogs too. I think it’s because there are conversational correlates to blogging that make it an easy trap to spring… Well, we’ll see if this happens tomorrow at Stein Night.

We Put the Cute in Execute!

2005-04-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

Firstly, for the record, I'm anti-death penalty. Moreso because of procedural issues than moral ones. It's easier to reverse a mistake if the mistakee is alive. Would I rather have murderers in prison for life or killed by the state? It's sort of a wash for me. I don't get all worked up about it. Life in prison seems like a just punishment that protects the law-abiding. Anyway.

Per BBCNews.com today: “Nearly 4,000 people were executed worldwide in 2004 - the highest number in nearly ten years, say Amnesty International.
The human rights group found that China carried out more executions than all other countries combined - at least 3,400.
Iran came second, with at least 159, followed by Vietnam. The US were fourth in the table with 59 executions in 2004.
The 3,797 executions in 2004 are said to be the second-largest annual total in the last 25 years. Amnesty's UK director Kate Allen described the figures as "alarming".”

Hmmm… as a point of order, I find it hard to believe that North Korea didn’t kill more of it’s citizens then the other four countries mentioned. Per a USNews.com article (6/23/03): “In the past three decades, some 400,000 North Koreans are believed to have perished in the gulag.” See, now to me, those numbers are alarming. Perhaps they are not alarming to Ms Allen because North Korea has stated it’s most recent public execution was in 1992. Per Amnesty International’s website: ‘Amnesty International received a letter from the North Korean authorities in 1993 which acknowledged the public execution of one person in 1992.’ HARHARHAR. Well, that’s that then. I mean, the North Koreans would never lie. That must be why they’re not included in the new study; because they haven’t executed any of their own citizens since 1992!

Still, I wonder what the deal is with that.

Guns/Women

2005-04-05T17:36:00.000-07:00

Found an extremely funny blog, thanks to the Daou Report:

http://www.kimdutoit.com/ee/index.php/rant/

It not only features many pictures of guns, but also women with guns! Beware: I think the blogger is a little conservative…

Hey, who is the deadliest woman you've noted in reality or fiction?

A few come to mind:
Yu Shu Lien (the young female from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon);
Lyudmila Pavlichenko- per Red Army records she killed 309 enemy soldiers in WWII ... dam.
Mystique- Magneto's primary hench-person from the X-Men comics and movies!

Sin City

2005-04-05T17:29:00.000-07:00

Wonderful. One of my new favorite movies, right up there with Brazil, Miller's Crossing, The Godfather I and II, Last of the Mohicans, Heat, Apocalypse Now, Jaws, Leon the Professional, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Lord of the Rings.

Sin City's violence was gorgeous to watch... which is probably bad in some sense. But I like my violence stylized and beautiful. Is it realistic? Not in the least! But real violence turns my stomach. The filmwork, black and white with the occasional splash of color was unique. The dialogue and characters are over the top in a way that I found fun. You’ll know by the first story if you’re going to like it, hate it or love it. By the time Marv finishes his good deeds you should know if your staying or should be walking out.

Oh, as far as adaptations go, it’s right there at the top with Lord of the Rings. Movie Jedi and friend, Dtorg, states the movie was story-boarded straight from the comic. It shows. The graphic novels by Frank Miller filled me with shock and awe (they were sooooo dark and fun). The movie stayed true to the material and succeeded because of it.

Wacky Road Trip III Recap

2005-04-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

Wacky Road Trip III was interesting and memorable. The crew had many adventures, only two of which I’ll touch upon.

The coolest adventure was the Air and Space Museum with its Blackbird (per The Economist, 3/25/04: ‘The SR-71, an American spy plane, has been the fastest publicly acknowledged aircraft for almost 40 years. It has a top speed of just over Mach 3—in other words, three times the velocity of sound, or about 3,000 kilometres per hour.’). Drool. It just looked so cool. Also there, in this immense hanger outside DC was a Concord jet and the Enola Gay. Of course the Bush/Cheney junta has changed the name to the Enola Straight. (This was the second change, the first during the Clinton presidency was to the Enola Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell)

The most poignant event was our tour of memorials; Lincoln, Jefferson, FDR, Vietnam War, Korean War, WWII, Washington, and George Mason. It is important as a people to pay your respects to those who fought and died ensuring your rights. It was moving to see a WWII veteran at that memorial. The contrast of this old, wheelchair bound man against the backdrop of the immense memorial with its twin fountains and commemorative pillars of stone was moving. I debated thanking him, but decided not to. He seemed lost in thought or reminiscence and I did not want to intrude.

Wacky Road Trips

2005-03-22T21:58:00.000-08:00

Well, tomorrow myself and five trusted companions are off to Washington D.C., our nations capitol. This voyage is what My People call 'Wacky Road Trip'. This being the third such trip, My People have named this Wacky Road Trip III.

Some basic concepts to keep in mind with Wacky Road Trip are: It’s on the cheap. The journey is part of the point, the destination the point at the end of the journey. Don’t stop driving until you get there. It is Wacky.

Wacky Road Trip I: Why My Space Shuttle Ain’t Workin’? This trip took kwik2jujj, Deej, Dtorg and 3XHAR to Cape Canaveral, Florida, to see the space shuttle launch. The shuttle did not launch because the Russians backed their space capsule’s big ass into the space station. Other items of note: The Worst Coffee Ever; Patches Of Re-Animating Fog; The Saturn Blimp Of Desire; The Magic Of Epcot Blesses Dtorg!; When Dtorg Sleeps His New Car Goes Fast!; Stay Out Of My Bathroom Old Man!; Fascinating Post 9/11 Security.

Wacky Road Trip II: Why My Grand Canyon Ain’t Workin’? This trip took Thaa Rev, Deej, Dtorg and 3XHAR to Las Vegas, Hoover Dam, The Desert, A Green Bay Packer Game, Taliesin and Not The Grand Canyon. Firstly, there was the thirty two hour drive from Madison, Wisconsin, to Las Vegas Nevada. On Wacky Road Trip, you take turns driving in shifts. We do not stop in a hotel until we reach the destination. The journey, you see, is a big part of the fun. If you were to say something like, ‘Oh my! Thirty two hours in a car with some of my closest friends! How ghastly!’ Then Wacky Road Trip is not for you. Anyway, we didn’t get to see the Grand Canyon because of a series of delaying events culminating in a long stretch of Arizona road work (and by ‘work’ I mean Arizona highway workers sleeping on the side of the road with their little orange reflective vests). To this day Thaa Rev curses Arizona highway sleepers. Other items of note: Blisters; Star Trek Thongs; The Buffet Of The Gods; Gasless In The Desert; Vegas Hotel Room Crime Scene; Broken Vehicle Window Induces Odor; Flat!; Warning Signs; Hot Packer Game; Damming Arizona.

Wacky Road Trip III: The American Edition! On this voyage there are a total of six travelers. We will be crammed into a mini-van headed from Madison, Wisconsin, to Washington D.C., our nations capitol! We leave tomorrow! Huzzah!

Blogpiphany

2005-03-21T20:01:00.000-08:00

Hmmm… Where to begin? Years of Stein Training? I suppose that’s as good a place as any. Wavy lines, harp music…

Years ago, myself, 3XHAR, and some co-workers began a monthly journey to The Come Back In. Each month we’d drink German bier, eat cheap food, and discuss and debate any topic that crossed the table. Free will? Done. The war in Iraq? Did it. The evil Clinton? Of course. Frozen wooly mammoths? Cannibalism? Films? Movies? Yes, yes, yes. The good Clinton… Hmmm… Don’t remember that one.

Anyway, on these nights I can be somewhat confrontational. I don’t particularly care what you believe, but I will have some respect for you if you know why you believe something. I’ll try to use what-if situations to draw people out (plane crash in the Andes… what would you do?). If your why’s don’t satisfy me I tend to pursue, to ask more questions. I try to attack the argument, not the arguer. I try to follow Carl Sagan’s rules of argument from (I think) ‘Demon Haunted World.’

On occasion I’ll take an absurd position and goad people into dismantling it. This should be easy. People should be able to explain why slavery is morally and ethically corrupt; why Keanu Reeves did not deserve an Oscar for Matrix III; why prisoners should not have their arms and legs removed (Head On A Box Prison). I believe there is a baseline value to debate and discussion. And if I have to annoy someone to get them talking… well, I’m just the man to do it. You see, I am good at annoying people. I have a gift. HARHARHAR.

Anyway, I responded to a post on Manual Override’s blog a couple days ago. The topic was Terry Schiavo’s situation. My response was crass and rude, but I think reflected my belief. It elicited this comment in response:

"The Supreme Court enshrined the right to kill in Roe v. Wade.

As long as the American government and the American people tolerate the pro-death activism of judges, then bullshit like the Schiavo case will continue.

3XHAR, you are a monster. As one should expect of a fiend like yourself, you are too cowardly to give your real name.
Posted by: David C | 20 March 2005"

My first reaction was to laugh. I found this post funny in the extreme. To jump to name calling so quickly (granted: I started using the term Veggie Girl first) instead of even attempting to refute any of my statements was funny. It was kind of a thrill to elicit such a visceral response from a complete stranger. My second reaction was to be a little creeped out and a little relieved that I am using a moniker, 3XHAR. My third reaction was, ‘Dam, I am a coward!’ So, this David C was at least right about that.

The Blogpiphany: I realized from David C’s post that I have to become more proficient with blogging. I was treating this sort of like Stein Night, firing comments carelessly, surrounded by friends and acquaintances who know where I’m coming from. But this is different. Once it’s out there it can be read by anyone, friend or enemy, sensible or senseless, fanatic or wiseman.

Smarch Stein Topics

2005-03-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

A brief and incomplete list of topics from last night's Stein Night: Predictability And Predetermination; Doggie Hazmat Zone; Big Trees; The Resurrection Of Don Knotts; To Evil And Hot French Sex; Rik Wayward; Dalrymple; Wisconsin Film Festival; Shakespeare On The Sun; Jedi Tax Tricks; The Benefits Of A Workplace Sans Coworkers; And I Thought Porn Was My Friend; Those Brady's; Critical Moment Force Dynamics; I Am The Little Tugboat!; Diplomacy, Supremacy, And HOTW; The Bellydancer At The Morocco Cafe; Metaphysical Dreamteam: Ayn Rand And Walt Disney!; Nasty Tricksy Senate Rules; Lisa May Show Up, Then Again She May Not; The Strange Feeling Of Enjoying Your Work; 3XHAR Has Run And Will Run Again!; Millenium: Better Than Remembered; Wacky Road Trip III, The American Edition; The Bourne Book: No Thank You, My Darling; Milan Or Minsk?; Dream: Kilts And Space Aliens; Joe's Big Blue Screen Fear; Indestructible Young Guys, With Guns And The Funny Bangledeshi; The French Maid Costume Conundrum; The Soloist; The Answer To Any Question (Other Than Complex Math) Is Located; Louis And Clarke And Those Cute And Murderous Bears, Oh My; Mr. Stephenson's Books Are A Deep Plunge From The High Board; The Possibilities Of A Short, Lethal Gaming Session; The Annoyer Has Spoken, And Spoken, And Spoken; The Importance And Paradox Of Manners; Twenty Pages Of Six Days; When Elms Almost Attack!; Medicare Drug Benefit; Underwater Adventures; Blogs; Civil War, Democracy And The Middle East; Dubya: Visionary Or Histories Greatest Monster?; Exploding Whales: Innately Gross And Funny; Stein Membership Commodities Market; Susan And The Bookstore; The Nearly Three Billion Women I Have Not Slept With Will Remain Un-Named; The Gas/Money/Time Calculation; That Parisian Monstrosity (And I Don't Mean The French); Haiki; The Mysterious Salvius; Haiku.

Dog Detonation

2005-03-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

So, I get home from work tonight and immediately determine three things: the dog is ill, the dog is a genius, and procrastination pays. I shall explain.

My Co-Dog Owner, Lis, and 3XHAR have been on and off trying to get around to painting the downstairs. Many things have stood in our way. Sinus infections, migraines, cold drafts, overly dry air, must-see TV, naps... Many things. So, the downstairs, post-roomie lower level is all prepped to be painted (buckets of paint, plastic covered furniture, brushes, rollers, plastic tarps on the floor, blue tape bordering the walls) but no final coat has been applied (the priming is finished!). Lucky us!

When I got home today Lis explained that the dog was ill. The dog, Hondo, barfed at the front door. This was unfortunate but not unusual and easy to clean. If the dog is going to vomit it's always at the front door on the linoleum. Genius. It was also stated by Lis that there was a larger, more formidable mess downstairs. And it was not vomit. I grimaced.

The dog had diarrhea. I feel for him. He knows he is supposed to go outside, so actually going inside must have pained him. It goes against years of conditioning. Fortunately for me, he only went on the plastic tarps we had put down for painting! Huzzah! Luck? Please. He could have gone anywhere in the house. The boy is a genius.

Of course, this will entail another delay in painting. Have to get new tarps.

Let's Play Loser

2005-02-24T20:28:00.000-08:00

Here's a fun game for all you kids: LOSER! Here's how you play: while driving or being driven in a motorcar or Amish buggy, when you see a Kerry for President type bumper sticker you holler out "Loser!" This earns you one point. If you see a Dean sticker, or anyone else knocked off in the primary, then yell, "Loser" and get TWO points! If you see one of these signs in a window it's THREE points! When your trip ends total your points! If you have more points then you are not the LOSER (tm).

Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker: one point
Dean or other primary loser: two points
Any loser of the last election in a window of a residence: three points

This is especially fun to play on long holiday jaunts with Left of the Stein leaning relatives!

January Recap

2005-01-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

End of the month is closing in and I notice I have not blogged. OK. I'm going to try to make sure to jot something out here at least once a month...

Christmas was interesting. My dad had a visit to the hospital on Christmas morning. Scary for a while, but ended up not being a heart attack. Much Christmas loot was gotten. Let's see. Then New Years at Joey The Spleens. Then Gaming Weekend a few weeks ago. And now, watching Deej's cat, Ashley...

Extremely funny Christmas gift: Pulp Fiction Playset. Includes Marcellus (with red bondage ball strapped into his mouth), Butch (bloodied, holding katana), Zed (with ass-spanking paddle) and The Gimp.

Oh. I've watched only three movies so far this year. 'Return of the King', a dearly loved film. 'The Beyond', a surreal Eye-Talian gore-fest given to me as a Happy Birthday Jesus gift by the Right Goody Reverend Mueller. 'Monster'; wonderful performances by the leads, but another one of those hard to recommend movies. It's just so dam grim... Like 'Leaving Las Vegas'. Technically a great film, but would I tell my folks to go rent it? Naw...

Just Notes

2004-12-09T17:07:00.000-08:00

Notes jotted after trip to Chicago with friends, last weekend:

Autobiographical, weekend in Chicago: arrived Friday and left Sunday. The weather was non-rainy, mildly cold and pleasant. Notable meals were consumed at Gibson's (I had a steak) and Harry Caray's (I had the rotini with Eye-talian sausage); the meals were complete unadulterated food porn. I highly recommend riding the underground train in Chi. It was very clean, which surprised me. Shopped. Went to the Inca exhibit at the Field Museum. Had drinks Saturday night at the Signature Room, 96 floors above bum level. Ignored the bums rattling change cups and pathetic hand lettered beg-boards. Noted that well off people in Chi have a certain, very discernible, look. Am exhausted. Feet hurt from all the walking. Had a nice welcome when we got back: the dog's tail indicated he was happy to be reacquainted with us.

Topics discussed at Stein Night last evening: Consistently Quoting Thoreau; The World's Greatest Pink Floyd Tribute Band EVER; You're A Lucky Bum If You're The Bum I Love; How The Bum Stole Ted's Innocence And Five Bucks; Nate: Customer Service Bier God; Tonight's Waitress, Master Of The Arm-Touch; A New Phrase: 'She's Looks A Little Roadie'; The Left's Myth Of Fraud; John Kerry's Doggie Tricks (Roll Over); Evil Chicago Land Developers Defeated; Sports Chitchat; Movie Review: Alexander, Not As Crappy As We Were Led To Believe; Team America Sing Along; The Error Of Allying Oneself With Stalin (I Voice Disagreement); List Shows; Marsha Brady: Hot Then Not; Other Waitress Goes Nuts In Front Of Generic Guy, Flips, Twirls And Flourishes Hair For Minutes; Who Owns A Firestick?; The Utter Suckiness Of Putting Your Dog Down; If I Voted Republican, Am I A Republican?; The Election: Mild Gloating Seems Appropriate; Irrational And Emotional Co-Worker Reactions To The Election Are Noted And Disapproved Of; Red Dave's Tangled Interpersonal Stein Web; German Dave's Roman Hike, Train Trip And Ear Plug Needing Hostel Stay; Rumors Of My Pregnancy; Kwanzfeshaunamas; Rumsfeld Kicked In The Crotch By His Own Guys; It Is Agreed, Once Trust Is Gone, So Should The Guy Be; An Illustrative Tale Of How The German And French Don't Mix Well; Overnight Train Trips; Alternative Venues For Stein Night Are Discussed; Hippy Chicks; Airwolf Poetry; The Guy Whose Name Is A Lisp: Seth; Lisa's Shotgun And Bird-Perch; It's Not Christmas Without The Big Round Table (Thanks To Jim).

Giant Dancing Inflatable Kangaroo

2004-11-17T18:13:00.000-08:00

Last night, myself and four friends, all male, went to the Overture Center in Madison WI to see 'The Australian Pink Floyd Show'. Now, I'm a fan of Pink Floyd and going in to this I was a bit skeptical. I was ready for this to suck. Four things made the night not suck.

Firstly, the friends are a pleasure to spend time with. This did not suck. Secondly, the band was technically talented and nailed some very difficult Floyd, specifically, Great Gig In The Sky, One of These Days, and Money. Thirdly, I think during One of These Days, there was this huge (20 feet tall) blow up kangaroo that, I swear, was dancing. Once I started laughing at this I could not stop. It's nice when you go to a show and you see something you haven't seen before.

Fourthly, there was this woman in our row with a vast and tightly clad chest. She danced, she clapped, she ran, she jumped. This became extremely funny in the later parts of the show because you could see this entire row of guys heads turned ninety degrees to the right to watch this woman. I have to wonder if the band was thinking, 'What the hell's the bloody deal with the third row?' I think it was Tall G (not his real name) who said that looking at her was like some kind of drug. Or like a drug and a car accident mixed together. It was hard not to look, but then again, why try not to look? As a heterosexual, I must admit, fully ashamed of my humanity, that I do like to look at good looking women. There. I wrote it. Now I'm going to go to hell.

Thank God I'm an atheist and don't believe in Hell.

Pick Good Friends

2004-11-15T17:22:00.000-08:00

So, I fired this guy Friday. There was a moment in time, a division between him not knowing he would be fired and him knowing he was fired, that pains me. I know, I know, it pained him more. I'm sure. His life changed radically in a moment, and I saw the thunderbolt register on his very controlled features. He was a nice guy, polite in the extreme, professional; all of which made it more stomach churningly awful. He was not good at the job and he had been told improvement was necessary. Improvement was not forthcoming. Hence, Friday. Some well meaning folks said that he must have known it was coming, but I disagree. I saw his face in the moment of recognition.

So. My brain is now frothing with rationalizations. It needed to be done. It's for the better. People are strong, he'll be fine. He was not good at the job. Period. He was not going to get better at the job.

Then my brain settled on this: any of my friends, if they were unexpectedly fired, would do just fine in this situation. They would be shocked, they would move on. They would excel. Ahhhhhh... The glory of picking only the finest of people as friends. So, it follows that if No Job is a person of quality, then he will do fine. If he is not a person of quality, well, why would I wish him to be employed by my company?

Coked Up Flag Burning Homos

2004-10-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

Firstly, the urge to control other people whose behavior does not harm and has no affect upon me seems unsavory. A litmus test I use for considering legislation is the demonstration of harm. No harm or potential for harm, no law. Legislation concerning flag burning, recreational drug use and gay marriage come to mind.

If I purchase an American flag and burn it what harm has been done to you? If two guys get married what harm does this do to you? If I want to snort a couple lines of cocaine and not use heavy machinery, what harm has been done to you? Feel free to demonstrate the harm.

So, riddle me this: If a law limits behavior that will not harm others, what has the law accomplished?

3XHAR